Just One Yesterday
by blaineycupcake
Summary: "I'd trade all my tomorrows for just yesterday" AU: Kurt is battling lung cancer when he mets Blaine who is cancer survivor. But can Kurt really allow himself to fall in love when he knows that the disease is gonna take him out sooner or later? (Loosely based on The Fault In Our Stars by John Green (much of the same story line))
1. Chapter 1

The alarm went off and a loud ring broke the soft silence in the dark bedroom. It took some fumbling and some cursing for Kurt to find the alarm and switch it off but once it was done he dragged his tired body out of the warm and cozy bed and into the bathroom. The light was harsh and he moaned as it burned his eyes. He took a few steps closer to the mirror and he rested his hands on the edge of the cold sink. His chest was burning.

It was always like this. It was worst in the morning and in the evenings when his body was tired and it felt too heavy for him to carry.

He looked into the mirror. He had dark circles underneath his eyes and his chestnut brown hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat. His skin was pale and he had a small breakout on his forehead and in the unforgiving light his cheekbones were clearly visible. He slowly dragged his hand through his hair and ended up with a small piece of hair in his hand.

_Great, first I lose my clear skin and now I lose my hair._

He sighed and dragged himself into the shower. He leaned against the wall for support as he washed himself as quickly as he could before wrapping a towel around his waist and reentering the bedroom. He roamed through the closet until he found a nice pair of jeans, a blue long-sleeved shirt, a grey vest and a pair of brown boots to go with the outfit. Then he slowly made his way down the stairs.

Carole was just placing the breakfast on the dinner table when Kurt entered the kitchen a little breathless. Finn was already shoving food into his mouth while mumbling something that was quite hard to grasp since his mouth was full. Kurt sat down at the table just as his dad entered the room.

Burt Hummel was not in a good mood that morning. One of his co-workers had just called in sick, he had a lot of work to get done that day and he had left his coffee to pick up the phone and now his coffee was cold. He grumbled as he sat down and after complaining about the fruit on his plate that Kurt was forcing him to eat he hid behind that morning's newspaper. Carole just rolled her eyes at Burt.

"Good morning Kurt", Carole said as she poured Burt a new cup of coffee. "Did you sleep well?"

"It was fine." Kurt checked his watch. "I've got to go now or I'll be late. See you guys later."

Burt hummed and Carole nodded as she started to clean the table.

* * *

The most frustrating thing was the mornings.

He had learned to live with it but it was one of the few things that never failed to bring him down. The mornings were hard because not only was he still tired but his entire body ached and it made everything a lot harder.

And then there was the early departure.

Finn always used to leave the house before Kurt but as time passed it got harder and harder for Kurt to move around until Kurt finally reached the point where he had to leave before Finn if he wanted to be on time. It was frustrating because he felt as if by leaving early he was admitting defeat.

But it didn't matter. Not really.

* * *

Mercedes was already in the classroom when Kurt arrived but that was normal. She was always there when he got to school and had been since the day she found out he always arrived ten minutes early. He used to always arrive just on time. But that had been before. Now things were different.

"Hey." Mercedes attempted to pull his chair out for him but he slapped her hand away. "What's up?"

He sighed as he sat down. "Not much. How about you?" He had to take a few seconds to catch his breath but then he started to pull his books out of his bag.

"Well Sam decided to call me again last night and…" She went on and on but Kurt didn't really pay attention. He was too tired.

Just as the bell rang a new guy stepped though the door.

He had dark hair that was slicked back with an insane amount of gel, soft features and a smile was playing on his lips. He was talking to Sam Evans (_when you speak of the devil_, Kurt thought to himself) and it was obvious that Sam had just done one of his horrible impressions but the dark haired boy seemed to find them quite hilarious because he had tears in his eyes from laughing.

The guy suddenly looked up and his eyes found Kurt's.

Kurt quickly looked down and he could feel a blush creep into his cheeks as he started to fumble with his pen. Mercedes poked him on the shoulder and gave him a questioning look but he just shook his head. Sam and the dark haired boy sat down a few rows in front of them and Kurt didn't miss the longing sigh that left Mercedes lips as she looked at Sam.

* * *

"I have prepared a little solo for today's glee club. I really think you will appreciate not only the simplicity but also the beauty in this masterpiece and I really feel like I add a whole new dimension to this song, you know?"

They were making their way to the choir room and Rachel was once again going on about how she was 'taking the glee club to a whole new level'. Kurt couldn't quite decide whether his medicine or Rachel was the course of his headache but he knew one thing and that was that he felt like punching someone.

"Jesus Rachel, can you just shut up for once?" Kurt shot Mercedes a thankful look but Rachel continued her rant even as they found their seats. Mr. Schuester was writing something on the white board and Brad had already taken his seat at the piano. _Does that man ever go home?_, Kurt thought to himself but he quickly forgot it because the guy with dark hair from his previous class had just entered the room.

The guy cleared his throat and Mr. Schuester seemed confused for a moment until he realized who had been the source of the sound.

"Hello can I help you?"

The dark haired boy stepped into the room and _oh god was that a bowtie?_. "Yes, is this the choir room?"

Mr. Schuester gave the boy a short smile. "Yes indeed it is."

"I wanted to join the glee club if that was possible?"

Mr. Schuester threw his arms out to the side and gave a welcoming smile. "Well of course. We are always excited to welcome new members. So what is your name?"

The dark haired guy stepped forward and shook hands with Mr. Schuester. "I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson."

Rachel jumped up from her chair and dashed over to where Blaine was standing. "Hello I am Rachel Berry and I am the unofficial leader of the New Directions".

"Oh hell to the no!" Mercedes started to get up from her chair but Kurt pulled her back down.

"It's always nice to get new background singers. Now go take a seat and then I'll sing a little song just to set the standard."

Blaine simply nodded and then took a seat next to Sam who was shaking his head at Rachel.

The rest of glee practice went as usual. Well aside from the long glances that he got from Blaine. He was used to people starring at him but not in this way; it wasn't a mean or judging look, no it seemed like a more curious look.

* * *

"And for next time I want you to prepare a song that gives you hope".

Everyone started to get up and Kurt couldn't help but feel relieved that glee club was over. He enjoyed glee, he really did, but it made him so incredibly tired and after a full day of walking and sitting he was truly exhausted and he just needed to get home and lie down.

"Hey Kurt!" Sam called from the front row where he was standing with Blaine. Sam motioned for Kurt to join them so he slowly made his way down the steps. God knows Kurt Hummel hates steps and stairs.

"Kurt, this is my friend Blaine." Kurt and Blaine quickly shook hands and Kurt couldn't help but notice just how beautiful Blaine's eyes were. The light was dancing in them and they had the same colour as hot caramel. Kurt's hand shook a bit and Blaine seemed to notice because he raised an eyebrow at Kurt.

"Cancer", Kurt simply replied to the unspoken question. He used to avoid saying the diagnose out loud and for a long time he had refused to tell anyone but his closest friends but over time he stopped caring. It didn't matter anyway. Not really.

"Oh", Blaine frowned and he bit his lower lip before simply pointing at himself with a shrug. "Cancer survivor".

"Oh." Now that was unexpected to say the least.

"How bad is your diagnose?"

"Lung cancer. I can't walk twenty meters without gasping for air. Take your guess."

"Did you smoke too many cigarettes in your younger days?"

Kurt gave a short humourless laugh. "I've never even touched a cigarette and I don't have any intention to do so any time in the near future."

Blaine laughed and the sweet sound of his laughter filled Kurt's stomach with butterflies. "Well that makes you a part of those special 10%."

"Special 10%?" Kurt asked sceptically.

"Only 10% of the cases of lung cancer aren't caused by cigarettes so congratulations you're special."

"I'm not sure if that was supposed to make me feel better but thanks." Kurt laughed but after only a few seconds he started coughing because he couldn't catch his breath and he couldn't help but feel slightly humiliated. _I can't even laugh anymore. This is a joke_. But it didn't matter anyway. Not really.

"Well, I have to get back home but maybe I'll see you tomorrow." Blaine grabbed his bag and started to make his way towards the door. Just before he stepped into the hallway he turned around. "What was your name again?"

Kurt couldn't help but feel disappointed because he generally liked this guy. "Kurt."

Blaine laughed. "No silly, I know that. I meant your full name."

Kurt blushed and gave a nervous laugh. "Umm, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel."

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel", Blaine quietly said to himself. "I like the sound of that. See you tomorrow, Kurt Hummel".

And with that he left.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! Before you read this chapter I just wanna thank-you for reading this. It means the world :) I didn't expect such a positive response to thank-you from the bottom of my heart. Okay now on to reading!

* * *

Kurt wasn't really sure what he had been expecting when he arrived at school next day but it sure wasn't what he got.

He arrived early as usual but Mercedes wasn't the only one in class today. A boy with gelled hair and a yellow bowtie sat on the edge of the table. Kurt hadn't noticed before but he sure wasn't very tall. His feet didn't even touch the ground when he sat on the desk.

Blaine turned his head and a wide grin spread across his face as he locked eyes with Kurt. Kurt could feel the heat slowly creep into his cheeks so he quickly looked down to hide it from Blaine's view before making his way to the desk.

"Good morning Kurt Hummel." Blaine jumped off of the table and pulled Kurt's chair out for him. Kurt mumbled a thank-you before sitting down. Mercedes was wiggling her eyebrows in a way that made Kurt uncomfortable so he looked the other way, which meant that he had direct eye contact with Blaine.

_ Well, that wasn't very well thought through._

"Have you found the song yet?"

Kurt frowned. "What song?"

Blaine giggled. Oh wow, he was very adorable when he giggled.

"The song for next glee meeting – a song about hope?"

Kurt laughed which caused a very confused look on Blaine's face.

"What? Why are you laughing? What's so funny?"

"Blaine honey," Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's lower arm and he swore he could feel sparks at the light touch. "You're asking a guy with lung cancer who he wont see his 25th birthday if he has picked out a song about hope for the next glee club meeting."

Blaine only frowned more and gazed down at where Kurt's hand was placed on his arm. _He looks like a puppy when he frowns like that_. "I still don't see why that is funny."

Kurt sighed and removed his hand from Blaine's arm. His fingertips were still warm from the light contact and he had a weird feeling in his stomach – almost like butterflies. But no, that couldn't be it. "I just think it's ridiculous that's all."

Blaine gave him a sad smile that made Kurt feel like he had just taken a blow to his stomach. "I don't."

The teacher arrived the very same moment and Blaine went back to his own seat in the front next to Sam while Kurt was left with his mouth hanging open.

* * *

Kurt didn't see Blaine anymore that day. He had been looking for him all over the school – or at least on the way to his classes since he wasn't strong enough to move around more than absolutely necessary. He hadn't liked the sad look on Blaine's face and he knew it was ridiculous but he wanted to make sure he was all right. He had trouble focusing on hos homework that night and even more trouble falling asleep which was odd since Kurt was always exhausted after a whole day at school – all the moving around was draining him because he couldn't breath properly. He didn't sleep much that night.

Blaine wasn't in class early the next day – he walked through the door just as the bell rung and he left again before Kurt even got out of his chair after class ended. Mercedes was worried that it was his new medicine that was making feel ill but he just shook her head every time she asked about it.

So you would assume that Kurt calmed down when he walked into the choir room and Blaine was already seated but it only made him feel worse. Blaine was in the middle of a conversation with Tina and Tina seemed to be completely mesmerized. _Can't blame her_.

Blaine looked up for a brief minute and when he noticed Kurt and Mercedes he gave them a little smile. Kurt's heart made a little back flip and he slowly smiled back.

He made his way to the back row (which took some time because of the steps) and Mercedes placed herself besides him. Rachel hurried into the room closely followed by Mr. Schuester who was looking cheerful in a creepy kind of way as always.

Getting to the back row of the choir room took a lot of energy out of Kurt but when he first had joined glee club two years before he hadn't had this much difficulty with breathing and since he had felt slightly uncomfortable with the people in the choir he had made the seat in the back his spot. He didn't have any problems with the people in the choir anymore and breathing was getting gradually harder but he refused to sit anywhere else because that would be admitting defeat and Kurt Hummel was not a man who was that easily beaten.

"So the assignment for today was to perform a song that brings you hope and I'm really excited to hear which songs you guys picked." Kurt crossed his arms and shook his head. "Now who wants to start?"

To all's surprise Blaine was the first to raise his hand.

Mr. Schuester smiled. "The stage is yours, Blaine."

As Blaine got up from his seat Sam gave him a small pat on the back and Kurt couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

_ This is ridiculous._

Blaine went over to the piano where he quietly said something to Brad before handing him some music notes. He then took his place in the middle of the floor and he smoothened his black shirt with his hands before starting to speak.

"This is a song that never fails to put me in a good mood and when I'm happy I see the world in a much brighter light and that brings me hope. When I was battling cancer a few years ago I used to have this song on repeat constantly." Several of the glee club member looked shocked at the mention of Blaine's battle with cancer and some even turned to look at Kurt but he continued to look straight ahead. "Hope is important and we all need it every once in a while. There's always hope and we should never give up on it." He locked eyes with Kurt and Kurt could feel his throat tighten. "And sometimes all we need to get us by is a song."

The piano started playing and Kurt couldn't help but frown because he knew he had heard that song before.

C'mon and lift me up it's a brand new day  
Open up a little happiness today  
So I can be someone new  
C'mon and lift me up to a better way  
Open up a smile on another face  
So I can feel something new

Well much could be said but Kurt certainly hadn't expected Blaine to have vocals like that. Mercedes let out a quiet "Damn" and even Rachel's jaw dropped. Finn's face was a weird shade of green but maybe it was just the light, Kurt couldn't really tell.

When Blaine was done he got a big round of applause and Rachel cheered the loudest.

"That was really good, Blaine." She hugged Blaine and he looked rather startled and when he looked up he was looking straight at Kurt who couldn't help but avoid eye contact.

* * *

Kurt was lying in his bed. He hadn't had much appetite and his dad was worried that maybe his medicine was making him ill again. Kurt hated to make his dad worried – his dad was always worried if not about the medicine then about the progress of the disease or of the bullies at school. Kurt hated it and he was convinced that all the worry he had caused his father had been one of the main things that had caused his dad to have a heart attack the year before.

The silver light from the moon outside was shining through the thin curtain and the light created patterns on Kurt's wall. His mom used to cut small delicate patterns and figures out of white paper and the light on the wall looked very much like a pattern she had done.

His eyes stung and his chest ached every time he thought of his mom. She had died of breast cancer when he was eight and he had seen her fade before his eyes but every time he thought of her he remembered the woman she had been before the disease. She had been full of joy and positivity and even though those things still defined her during her sickness it hadn't been like it used to be.

Truth be told Kurt was scared. His mom had died of cancer and now he was losing the battle too. He hadn't exaggerated when he told Blaine he wouldn't see his 25th birthday; the doctor's weren't positive and there was no way to cure the cancer so all the medicine he took was only to keep him alive for as long as possible.

Tears started to flow from his eyes and he sobbed into his pillow.

Crying was painful because it required a lot of breath and Kurt didn't exactly have a lot of that so he had to stop when his chest started burning after only a couple of minutes. He turned over on his back and starred up at the ceiling.

_ It doesn't matter. Not really_, he told himself as he calmed himself down. He was just starting to drift off when the sound of his phone let him know he had an incoming message. He groaned and reached for his phone. It wasn't a number he knew but he opened the message anyway.

_Received - Today (22:46)  
__Hi you didn't look all to good in glee club today, are you okay now? :)_

The text was followed by two others shortly after.

_Received - Today (22:47)  
__This is Blaine btw_

_ Received - Today (22:47)  
__Mercedes gave me your number; I'm not a stalker I swear_

Kurt smiled as he saved the number to his phone. He purposely ignored the hot feeling in his stomach that made his head spin.

_Sent - Thursday (22:51)_

_Hello creepy-stalker-Blaine I'm alright thanks for worrying though. I was just having a bit of an off day I think :)_

Kurt turned on his laptop and quickly went onto YouTube where he found the song that Blaine had sung the very same day in glee club. He had to admit that it did indeed cheer him up. Not that he would ever admit that to Blaine.

_Received – Thursday (22:55)  
__You're out of milk btw ;) oh okay I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Well I have to finish this assignment for my Spanish lesson tomorrow so I guess I'll leave you to it. See you tomorrow, Kurt Hummel._

Kurt smiled at the screen of his phone. It was weird, he had only known Blaine for two days but as much as he tried to stop it he couldn't help but develop feelings for the boy. He knew it was crazy. He was hopeless romantic by heart but he hadn't actually thought he would ever get to feel like this. Things like this just didn't happen to Kurt Hummel. For Christ's sake, he didn't even know if Blaine was gay.

It didn't matter, he couldn't allow himself to feel this way because he would only end up with his heart broken and he couldn't afford that.

And even if he didn't, then what? He was going to die, that much he knew and he couldn't do that someone he loved. It was not like anyone would want him anyway. Who could possibly love someone who couldn't even walk up the stairs without struggling for air? Who could love someone who was getting weaker and weaker everyday? Who could love someone who had such a limited number of days left?

He just had to pull himself together and get over this crush as quickly as possible.

_Sent - Thursday (23:02)  
__Okay_

* * *

The song that Blaine sings is 'Open Happiness' (Butch Walker Original Coke Mix) by Cee Lo Green, Brendan Urie, Patrick Stump and more - you may recognize this as the official song from the Coca-Cola commercials (shhh just let me)


End file.
